Author Archives: hawaiianarchists

fuck.

hi.

i don’t think anyone reads this.

but if anyone is reading through this aside from myself, hi.

now. listening to light bearer. about to move back out on the streets. going off my medication cause i think it makes me suck. i think i have to live alone, too. it’s what was on the back of my dad’s paper…

so, back to the streets. my mom thinks i’m going to die before her. i might. shit i have been reading and watching recently has been rather bleak. but i’m gonna try and fight through it. without the medication, cause i might need it sometimes, and sometimes i do and it helps me not totally lose my mind, but fuck it. it’s time to live, yo! i’ve been fucked up about an old lover. fuck, many old lovers. the only person that’s consistent in my life is James, (I love you James!), and i guess my sister since she just told me to remember that she always loves me. i don’t get it. you try so fucking hard for a break and it comes and comes and comes and then it just comes some more. i get soooo fucking lucky. i’m lucky to be alive, and by that i mean free and strong. i’m lucky to have my wits about me again. I fucking love sam, but there’s no fucking way that their going to see me and there’s no fucking way i’m going to try and see them. my teeth are gone. i’m getting the last ones from my bottom carved out on thursday. i’m grinding the ones left over like they’re going to fall out, but they’re not. oh yeah, and fuck game of thrones. Bakker’s better and anyway, fuck that story cause if someone’s not getting raped they’re getting killed. fuckin reality, why do you have to suck so bad for so many people? it’s fucking stupid. this can be my death note for all that matters. so while i’m at it, mom i love you and skye – well, i still love you too, so deal with it. and steven, thanks for being there at the end.

now, if it’s not my death note, which i hope it’s not, then come here and i will tell you my plan…

I plan on moving back to the streets, writing The Heresiarch, listening to a lot of light bearer, and planning on how i am going to bring meatloaf back to the fold. i saw a guy on the bus about four or so months ago. or more. he was going to the hospital and wanted to be dropped off right in front of it even though he could have walked five blocks to get there way before. i said something to him cause he said something about rock and roll, or i did or something, and then i told him i was going to get meatloaf tattooed on my knuckles. if it’s not for Tolemy it’s gotta be for meatloaf himself, since it’s already for my dad. and this dude on the bus was like, ‘fuck meatloaf! he’s not a rock and roller anymore!’ or no, what he said was, ‘meatloaf doesn’t believe in rock and roll anymore.’ or something.

that sucks.

meatloaf fucking rules and i don’t know why he stopped believing in rock and roll, but even though i think it was two things, that he bought and mansion and is now rich, which is death according to will oldham and i believe him, or else meatloaf just feel in love and so hard to settle down with some foxy broad, i don’t know. i would place my money on him falling for someone and settling down, cause i know in his heart that rock and roll will never die, but he would seriously do anything for love except move on (that’s really what the songs about sam…) so i think he fell in love and then decided that a life with him or her was too good to keep short and was more careful and shit. which, i’ll admit, kinda sucks. i saw him over my dad’s shoulder in a rockumentary commentary on rocky horror and he was so fucking calm, and my dad was seemingly saying to me, see, even rock and roll heroes take a chill pill and sit out the last innings. when the going gets you really fucking tired and you don’t want to rock anymore, then you fucking quit rocking. right? yeah, but my dad died on a fucking motorcycle. where’s my fucking motorcycle?

oh, and, from now on i’m a vegan. i’m sick of eating the flesh of those weaker than me and i thought my soul mate was being put through a meat grinder once and on top of all that it’s just gross and really really mean. why the fuck do we eat other people? isn’t that what the movie noah is all about, the question of why we fucking eat other people? what’s wrong with us.

it’s gonna suck to get my teeth pulled outta my head. but at least i’ll have light bearer.

that’s all i have to write for now. i’ll be back, since i’m high as fuck, and can’t stop crunching my teeth, but i have to pack tonight and get ready and shit and i want a cigarette. fucking shit rock and roll never dies. long live anarchy!!

-0-

2 quests at once!!

hi.

i am writing my autobiography.

last night i dreamed about murder and killing.

looking for a new place to live, currently with family.
but can’t have boyfriend sleep over until have my own room secured.

finding my female partner is quest 1.
quest 2 is writing my autobiography

and avoiding dying.

oh, also, i am cutting back on smoking. really.

that’s it for now.

merry quest, merry fight!
merry dark, merry light!
merry rain, merry sun!
merry wearwolves, merry meet!
merry part, merry streets!

journaling 9

i’m on a quest now.

i have to find my wife. it’s a quest.

i don’t know the nature of a quest, except:

1. you have to go to far off places.
2. there are dragons.
3. a fair maiden has to be rescued, even if she’s a feminist and you’re a feminist, she probably still has a problem or something that you can help her out with.
4. you make friends along the way that join your roving band of merry questers.
5. it requires less the knowledge of what you’re doing and more just that you have the heart and the gumption for it.

that’s about it. oh, and magic’s involved.

so i’m going on a quest. to find my wife.

there’s a couple preliminaries:

a. i have to get my teeth fixed.
b. i have to clean my room and get down to fighting weight, i.e. get rid of most of my possessions.
c. i need to get the rest of my tattoos, the ones on my knuckles and the ones on my shoulders.
d. i have to spend my money wisely and save most of it.

meanwhile i’ll be reading a lot of BOOKS.

that’s about it.
i think i’m going on the quest with Morning, my old love, and maybe to find them their husband too.
wish me luck…

thomas

in the credo
it is us against authority
and for love
and peace
my dear.

my dear my dear my dear.

how can i make it through this waste?
i know this love longing sickness is magic
i know it is magic
but it hurts
and it is twisted.

how come you let me go, when i was so ready to fight?

now i cannot even fight for you
and i have to go on and on alone
again.

Journaling 8

i don’t know what is going on.

i have been trying my best, to make sense of all this, but it makes little sense.  Should i go wait for her every morning like i did before?  But i’m a partnered man now.

whatever…  I don’t know what to do anymore.  i just did what i do best; but i’m still unfulfilled.

find an apartment?  make love to my partner?  the power of the question?  i gave sam half of my power; it was a gift.  no take backs.

2. i’m tired.

3. i got to get meatloaf tattooed on my knuckles.

4. this is for Australia: It Is Finished.

5. i feel dead, but i’m alive.  What does this mean?

6. salvation for Lucifer.

7. and satan and samael.

8. Forever.

9. Tech got me in.

9. anarchy for the win.

journaling 7

519_stream

2 NagasakiFires

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my whole life is unraveling and spooling into a new skein.

 

I have to call the program on monday and maybe go into it.  i think i’m ready.

 

i’m giving my roommates till the twenty fifth to move out.  meanwhile i will help them find a place to live.  that’s my project for the next two weeks, along with writing.  and shopping.  i need:

1. a hat.

2. Doxiderol, 30 count.

3. tobacco.

4. copies of some of my zines.

5. repair on my typewriter.* (maybe)

i just called out favors from about 15 people… cause i’m practically broke.

got to get out and get shit done.

2 projects:

a) get shit and get shit working and done.

b) find an apartment for my two roommates and our dog.

and

c) organize my apartment

and

d) get into the program.

4 transcribed speeches

Anarchy is, and Anarchism especially is, anti-police, anti-politicians, anti-money, anti-capitalism, anti-the state, anti-the rich, anti-class, anti- the bourgeoisie, anti-ablism, and we are anti-sexist, and anti-patriarchal. We are anti-homophobic, and pro-queer. We are mostly anti this whole society, cause it is corrupt and poisonous. Anarchy is Order, without coercion. It can be summed up – one of the many ways that it can be summed up – non-domination, non-coercion. Do not coerce and dominate. And do not steal. It’s very simple; but our whole way of life goes against it. But anarchy is a world-wide possibility to live in a federated world where we can interact with each other, from the grassroots up to the top, completely voluntarily, with mutual-aid. Helping each other. We don’t do this because your system of power, and you will fall. Be careful what side you chose. Be careful not to be on the wrong side. We will win. We teach our children that we will win. We have children because we want their children to inherit the world that we win. So beware. Anarchism is a political philosophy of peace.

 

We are not against hatred. We are not against love. We are not against peace. We are not against war. We are for the class war, because we believe that non-state communism will create the foundation of being able to have a culture, or cultures, on this planet, that will help more than hinder the human race to live healthy ways. It’s only a matter of time. And that’s that. Greed will not last forever and it will not win. The corruption of our cities and our way of life will not last forever and it will not win. And we have to fight right now, tooth and nail, like mad demons, or angels, furious, to save our very planet as a humyn habitat. If we do not do this we are all in…at least our children’s children…are all in for a very very hard life. If you wish for this to happen please go about your daily life and don’t do anything about it. If you want to do something about it…if you want to do something about industrial capitalism, then step up to the plate. We need more of you. I wish I could leave you with good inspiring words, but, the more of you join with us the better chance we have of saving tomorrow, and of making it a tomorrow that is beautiful and beneficent for you and me and our children and our friends and our family, and so on, for generation after generation after generation. If we continue on the course we’re on – we’re gonna lose all that. That’s all I have to say.

 

I am an anarchist. Anarchism is a philosophy that speaks around the absolute of freedom. Whether freedom exists or not it appears to, and Anarchism as a political philosophy elucidates upon the idea of freedom, which is just another word for anarchy. Anarchy and Anarchism are anti-state, anti-capitalism, anti-fascism, anti-copy write, anti-gender privilege, anti-patriarchy, anti-racism. Anti-ablism…we could go on. The Christ, who in much of Western culture is revered, if not thought to be God, has returned upon this Earth to fulfill their promise that they made to us as believers. And they have returned in many, countless physical bodies, both humyn and non-humyn, both animal and non-animal, both living and non-living, both etheric – and hewn of the ether into physical form. The anarchists are the very many Christs that is the second coming. We desire to bring fire down upon the world. We will not sit by idly while the flood returns and gives us an endless cycle of eternal return in which domination is enthroned and nothing else, the only exit and salvation being the death of the only worthy king, if there could ever be a one. No. We will bring fire. It must be so. No. We will bring fire. It must be so. No. We will bring fire. It must be so. No! We will bring fire. It must be so. … No. We will bring fire. It must be so. The future holds fire for fire is our comrade, and as an anarchist I must live and die for nothing except to see the world burn, for this fulfills the prophecy of one of the greatest anarchists who has ever walked the face of the Earth.

 

It seems to me that we have a war on our hands. It is a class war; above almost any other aspect of the struggle the struggle is one of class. Sure – the Earth is going to die or have a major die-off. This, according to all science that has any respectable people reading it at all, means that our world is fucked. So the ecological war to save the planet, and your so-called governmental words that describe the terrorism that you supposedly think is happening for the sake of saving our very planet…yes, Green-Anarchism is absolutely and totally legitimate, and necessary. If we don’t have a planet we die. Already millions are dying because of the way that we treat the Earth. But on top of that it’s also a class war because those that are treating the Earth in the way that they do are rich beyond myself or my capabilities to become so. And that goes the same for many many other people. Not everyone can be rich; and it is a lie to keep us climbing up a ladder that should not be there in the first place. Property is Theft. Anarchy is Order. These are tropes, but I as an anarchist can say them. You think, truly, that the civil war, the global civil war, is going to lead to nothing more than a continuation of nation-states, a crackdown and tightening of the surveillance-state, and further generations hemmed in through technology, surveillance, and an ever tightening nation-state system – then you are sorely mistaken. For, it is either that, or it is Revolution. It is one, or it is the other. There is no way around it. If we do not act now, or soon, we will be facing a much darker world. Anarchists act, we do not just talk. And you will see what that means. It is already happening; the fires are raging around the world. Explosions and fires taking down the places of power and control and it’s unstoppable, it’s decentralized, and it will end by killing your entire way of life. Beware. I have love for those who wish to come back to the side of freedom and equality. And I have love for those who never truly left. But there are much better things that we could all be doing, and most of us know it. So let’s get this shit started.

Alithiometer 2, demon circle, and etienne zadok quotes

alitheometer 1.B

demon circle

 

“Think about this: we are not the same as rich people.  Do rich people fantasize about killing rich people?  Think about that really carefully…”

“Love is only not what we are.”

                                       “There is nothing good, just the absence of evil.”