Girding For War # 9

at honolulu intl. airport

No tanning of the leather for a flying machine. Nor tanning of flight.
No hanging of a majority. All animals. Monsters…

La de da I ate a flat… La de da.
La de da you never flat… La de da.
La de da what of the flat? La la la…
La de da I ate a flat. La la la.

La de da ze liked them better;
La de da they like the violent.
La de da ‘You fucked me right!’ –
La de da ‘I want to eat you.’

Never flood; there is a tunnel;
Never light yours off – on fire;
Never flick your teeth and accidentally break them; –
Never think you could wish for a brighter future.

No.
‘The Best! The Best!’
No.
The Best!
No. The Best! The Best! The Best Best Best!

Beasts eat what you don’t eat
Ants for instance. Ants for instance.
Supping on a shine and quake
Loves for instance, and doesn’t lie…

I can’t tell you
You know
– He taught me how to be the Buddha.

We come.
We start.
There is nothing left to you.
 

at steam vents at crater rim drive

Here we are.

What is outside brings
What is
Inside;
When I was a small humyn
I sat in the cloud
And cried
In the dirt and didn’t weep.
Breeding out a thousand years
In a single life;
The steam
From the earth covers me
And behind it, within it, beneath it,
There is a (the) beautiful humyn.
Now I am old.
I sit in the dirt and smoke.
The air is cold, up on the mountain I’m on
Where I am sitting on the dirt.
I cry about my friend who didn’t think ze
Was good enough, strong enough, smart enough,
For us.
Who cries for me, now…

It is just the earth. No. No.
It is just the earth. The
Hot hot earth
And the tree.
 

at kilauea military camp

Ohia.
Ohia tree.

Ohia.
I ate chips.
And sausage burgers.
And jerked off.
And watched TV. …

And the partner, and the mother came home.
My family.
And I was happy. ()
Why am I happy here?
This is the military.
This is wealth.
And white-privilege, and no voices in the head.
I don’t even want to murder anyone…

The cigarette is just a cigarette.
I cannot tell you the relief.
The fist is just a fist.
I cannot tell you how that I am unafraid.
I cannot tell you I am unafraid.
‘I could just tell it was bad.
I couldn’t tell how bad.’
You noticed. How bad it hurt.
I cannot see you; though I try to.
I cannot tell you; you become someone different
Something different.
And the pain, I didn’t know it was pain.
And the fury and the hate
I didn’t know it was warranted:
They took my mind away.
“Peace comes through rest,
Or distraction or sleep. Or,
If one is lucky, tears.”
Providence. Prophecy. No. Divide.
There’s no (one) waiting for you outside.

I forget you. Love, oh love. I love you,
And I forget you.
But you don’t disappear. I am so sorry
I cannot see where you go.

I will do a ritual for you. For me, for you.
When the morning comes, every morning, I swear.
With five bones. I will toss them to the air
And let them fall.
 

at queen’s bath

I would rather be on the mountain.
The mother is sitting on a log
In the water. It is hot. Hot.
Getting here was marching and suck

And gripe; but I found the blue fire
Though people cannot hear my words –
We were all together, and happy.
I want to be high. The mountain is gray

And the altitude is better for me;
It is a change; and I inhale the powders.

I have to write a witch book for them.
What did the Queen think the waves sounded like? (Waves…)

Wait. Okay; a leaf falls to remind me to suffer.
Being at sea level makes my blood want drugs.
I could’ve been alone; instead – I had faith
Wrongly placed. – My spirit: blue, black, red, white, green.

Black. I have to go back. Write books.
In – hale the fake leather. Destitution
Can be proven– fall to the lowest ranks.
The lover does (not) know what ze sees.

These plants, by the ocean, are green. I found peace.
Everything is of its (this) realm. Water, and the vapors.

It’s a laboratory to find a way to the witch
I want. Ze’ll play chess with pieces of stone;
They call to the walls made of sand. The rooms
Made of shade, with the books on their (the) tables.

Alone, the sky is finally mine in my head (it’s not.);
But that’s wanting, for the earth is too hot. Too hot.
Without these leaves I would have nothing to say
And would have to leave immediately and wander.
Alone and craving.
They want what they want. Not _________ ;
Struggle again. … To the suffering I’ll return.

Listen. Listen. Ze’s talking to you again.

(You bow to zer in the middle of the intersections. In traffic.
When ze speaks you kneel; ze is the Queen. Of the Kingdom.
But their voice holds no words now. But you hear them living.
You do. Do not be enslaved to…)
 

at aahlanui pond

Hear of when
The people that you are of were gathered
At the sides of the roads
And the black feathers of them, and the dead, small, avian bodies
Of them
Were burned in piles.

Again. Do I have to remind you again:
No matter how safe you feel
The military must be ground underfoot,
Exiled from a Kingdom not theirs.
Cops are not to be trusted;
Who said the pig was the friend of the rook,
That crows or ravens were on good terms
With dogs leashed by slave-keepers?

Aw fuck. Back to the cacophony.

The heated water. The ocean.
I go to ask the humyn the name of this place. I am
Tired.

The small humyn asks the mother serious questions,
Not knowing how serious they are. The mother smiles,
Pained; and then brings them along.
Along the walkways, of sand, the walkways, of hung
Bridges, and the canyon sand walls
Of the fissure rise upward
To split a seam of the sky and its points.

At night you can barely dance. (You do not, this time. You are old.)
In the rooms there are the clay jars.
It is cooler here. It is hugely silent
In the fissure, and the mother hardly eats,
Never stops working.

But that: not this. No.
Weep; it is not here,
Says the instructor of small humyns with rare qualities.
There is only a heated pool of the ocean, and trees,
And no one more to speak with, say the
Demons. Not to spread out the work
Across unneeded tables; but heed the flame screaming:
‘This is peace. Not to know that is to be blind.’ ()

What hungry peace. What a sad nocturnal denial
Of lust…and rage. Or rage. Wake to walls made
Of ether – either walls of lust, or love. And: reject both.

You cannot tell that the mother looks like other mothers.
The lover swims too near the wall and has to be
Pulled out by the one who named the pool
By its right name. You relight the cigarette.
You become the sky for such a small moment
And decide to describe it. ‘Sheltering. Hovering. Lit.
A cavern of stone. The ocean is alone.
The mother is old. Wise. Lovely in age.
There is nothing to say. You sit side by side while
The waves curl. Is this world yours? Yours…?’
 

at steam vents at crater rim drive

Why
Do I plague?
Why
Are they a plague on me? (Upon me?)
It’s raining, gray, and dusk
Has come.
Under the earth there is peace.
Let me stand in the steam.
Tomorrow I hope it rains.
‘I will walk here alone.’
My words: untrustworthy. I spit.
Let me stand in the steam.

Here comes the lover,
Like a wall. The wind –
Shifts direction
And the vapors warm me.
This paper: wet.
Below the earth there is peace.
I spit. We do not argue
Then.
I breathe in the steam and leave.

(And still: we do not agree.
But still: we do not agree.
But still: we do not agree.
And still: we do not agree.) 

at kilauea military camp

The teeth fall out
Of the head to the song.

That flag will burn.
They protect me…
That flag will burn. We must all burn, one way – or another way…
They do not care for anyone
But their brothers.

The soldier, the ammar,
Who is a killer,
Reclines on the sofa. Oh, cushy narcolepsy.

In truth you cannot be told about it, nor about them. I would fall Like water. Never –
Without race in the head we still watch the cops. The moths; they Circle.

‘You are not the slave.’
‘Servants are no different; still slaves.’
The mother says: ‘There are no slaves.’ (oh mother, oh mother…)
I must climb higher.
For the pigs get in their pig-mobile and leave.
() – Protected here. – () No; it is that the mana is less corrupted.

But back to the urban, the city, the towering sucking height.
Away from the land, to wage a coward’s war… For:
These protect only safety, and rich places. And rich people.
Invert it: The immortal family wants to wait, (No circles, they do not Fit.  );
They want you to recognize that they wait for you; you, in your time, To join. – A oneness. – A unity. I don’t know a way to spill this Truth. ()
I cannot tell them nor get them to tell.
Take me over fell-demons, you who are real, and humyn. You who Are Death. You who are the differentiation. The Bird; the creation. I Catalyze and put out my eyes. (I have no before…)

You have burned the brothers in piles! Why should I look upon you?

Or:

To look upon you to build this slick ghost with blood! ()
This ghost! This! () I
Do not know the roads to that peace.
I will fight. With hatred. With care and carefulness, at least.
To choose the weapons carefully at least. () () () ()

…

Until the wind blows you away.